Journal 17: Deeper thinking, new focus

I've come to the conclusion that my research and thinking has been very surface level compared to the passion this project came from. Something I think about non-stop is moral disconnect and cognitive dissonance. This lead me to develop a new focus on how consumerism causes a disconnect in how we wish we lived and what we actually do.

This is something I see in myself quite a bit. Ideally, I'd be a zero-waste, minimalist, vegan who saves money effectively and has amazing grades. It is in my belief system that the only thing I want to leave behind on this earth are footprints. I've got the vegan thing down pat, but why do I find myself reaching for paper plates, surrounded by sentimental clutter and clothes I'll never wear again, broke, and a GPA I'm less than proud of? What are the very things causing the disconnect between my reality and the perception of what it should be?

If this sounds confusing, it's because it kind of is at first glance, but I urge you to think about it. No loving mother wants their baby exposed to harmful, disease-causing chemicals. Dr. Bronner's chemical-free cleaner is $13.99. Clorox is $3.00. More often than not, the low prices on cleaners filled with chemical fillers will be bought because we value a short term gain, saving money, over a long term gain, prevention of chemical-induced ailments. Why is this? That is exactly what I want to find out this year.